this actually makes NO sense
what’s the point in tagging a post now if you can’t even find it in tracked tags?
the only thing out of bendis’ guardians of the galaxy interview that i liked was spartax. that’s it. and i’m only mildly excited about that because he’s probably going to screw that up too.
Wow. (Via Francisco Araujo da Costa.)
Before the reading, he talked briefly about The Lands of Ice and Fire book being released soon. All the maps are being blown up to poster size and also there will be new maps included. He said that blowing the maps up proved problematic because it left a lot of empty space, which he had to fill in with new locations.
The reading itself was an excerpt from The World of Ice and Fire, to be published the year after the map book. The book is basically a fake history book ‘written’ by an Archmaester. Certain spoilerly bits, such as Summerhall, will conveniently be smudged or have ink spilled on them.
*note about names* The spelling of most of the new names here are rough guesses.
Aegon’s Conquest lasted roughly 2 years, between 2-1 BC (Before Conquest).
12 years before the Doom of Valyria, Aenar (Aenar the Exile) Targaryen relocated his family to Dragonstone.
His daughter, Daenys the Dreamer, foresaw the Doom by fire.
The Targeryens were the only Dragonlords to survive.
Dragonstone had been a Valeryian outpost for 2 centuries.
Houses Velaryon and Celtigar were Targaryen allies.
100 years after relocation to Dragonstone called “century of blood”
Rulers of Dragonstone:
- Gaemon the Glorious: son of Aenar and brother/husband of Daenys
- Aegon and Elena: Gaemon’s son and daughter who ruled together.
- Maegon: Aegon and Elena’s son.
- Aerys: Maegon’s brother, Aegon and Elena’s son.
- Aelix, Baelon, and Dameon: Aerys’ sons.
- Aerion: Dameon’s son.
Aegon the Conqueror born in 27 BC. Only son of the second child of Aerion (not sure if same Aerion as above?) and Velena of House Velaryon.
Tradtionally Aegon would have married only his older sister, but he married both. This was unusual.
All were Dragonlords before they married.
Aenar brought 5 dragons from Valyria. Only one survived to Aegon’s time: Balerion.
Vhagar and Meraxes born on Dragonstone.
Storm King – King Argilac of House Durrendon.
Riverlands ruled by Harren the Black of House Hoare.
Storm King offered Aegon his maiden daughter, but Aegon refused. Offered to have her marry Orys Baratheon, his bastard half-brother and friend. Storm King was pissed and wasn’t having any of that shit. Cut off envoy’s hands and sent them to Aegon. “These are the only hands your bastard shall have of me.”
Aegon summoned bannermen and allies. Sent ravens to all seven kingdoms. Those who bent the knee would keep lands and titles. Those who took up arms would be destroyed.
Targaryen host landed at the mouth of Blackwater Rush. Built fort on highest hill – “Aegon Fort” Sent his sisters to secure nearby castles. Rosby yielded to Rhaenys. Visenya took Stokeworth.
Visenya: eldest sibling, a warrior, sword called Dark Sister, “a harsh beauty”, stern, serious, unforgiving, rumored to dabble in sorcery.
Rhaenys: youngest sibling, playful, curious, loved music, dancing, and poetry. Spent more time on dragon back than her siblings, loved to fly, rumored infidelity, surrounded herself with comely young men.
Aegon spent 10 nights with Rhaenys for every 1 eh spent with Visenya.
Aegon was an enigma. Sword called Blackfire. Great warrior, never rode in tourney, flew only for battle or travel, had no close friends except Orys, remained faithful to his sisters. Left more governance to his sisters, took command when necessary. Harsh with those who defied him, open-handed to those who bent the knee.
Aegon Fort was buil on the hill that would later be called Aegon’s High Hill.
Daemon Velaryion – Master of Ships
Tristan Massey – Master of Law
Crispian Celtiagar – Master of Coin
Orys Baratheon – “My shield, my stalwart, my strong right hand.” First King’s Hand.
Harren the Black and the Storm King called their banners.
King of the Reach met with the Lannister King.
Princess of Dorne sent a raven to Dragonstone. Offered alliance against the Storm King, but would not bend the knee.
Eyrie boy king Ronal Arryn also offered alliance.
Orys and Rhaenys led men for Storm’s end.
Daemon Velaryon led fleet for Gulltown with Visenya. Arryn fleet defeated Targaryen fleet. Visenya burned Arryn ships.
Aegon marched to Harrenhal.
Trident lords had no love for ironborn Harren the Black. Edmyn Tully raised other lords against him and declared for House Targaryen.
Outnumbered, Harren took refuge in Harrenhal.
Harren and Aegon met. Harren would not yield. Aegon said “When the sun sets, your line shall end.”
Aegon flew up very very high and descended inside the walls of the castle. Covered the castle in black fire with swirls of red.
Next day, Edmyn Tully swore fealty to Aegon and was named Lord Paramount of the Trident.
The Storm King gathered a host at Storm’s End. Rode out to meet in the field. Began to rain, but The Storm King would not back down. Outnumbered the Targaryen host. Battle known as “The Last Storm.” Orys and Argilac fought and Orys won.
Argilac’s daughter Argella barred Storm’s End and declared herself the Storm Queen. Her men didn’t want to die and delivered her chained and naked to the Targaryen host. Orys Baratheon unchained her, wrapped her in his cloak, and treated her gently. Took Durrendon words and sigil for his own and married her.
King Torrhen Stark called his banners.
Queen Shara of the Vale (regent for the boy king) sent an army to the Bloody Gate. Used to be considered most beautiful in Westeros and sent Aegon a portrait of herself. Offered marriage is he named her son his heir.
Lannister and Gardener assembled armies and joined their hosts. Considered the mightiest host ever in Westeros: 55000 men, 600 lords, and over 5000 mounted knights.
Aegon gathered host 1/5 the size and went to meet them. His queens met him at Stoney Sept.
The armies met in a plain. The grass and wheat was dry. Aegon shot fire the host and Visenya and Rhaenys set fires upwind and behind the enemy. They were blinded by smoke and fire and they panicked. Battle was called “The Field of Fire.” 4000 died from the fire, and another 1000 died in battle. Targaryens lost less than 100 men.
Gardener King and sons were killed. End of House Gardener.
Lannister King lived and fled. Captured the next day and bent the knee to Aegon. Named him Lord of Casterly Rock and Warden of the West.
Higharden was yielded by its steward Harlen Tyrell. Made Lord of the Reach and Warden of the South.
Aegon was going to head south to Dorne, but Torrhen Stark had crossed the neck with an army of 30000. Aegon went to meet him with a host half the size. Stark’s bastard brother Brandon Snow crossed the Trident with 3 maesters to treat with Aegon. Stark went the next day and bent the knee. Was made Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North.
Aegon went to Oldtown, Visenya went to the Vale, and Rhaenys to Dorne.
Visenya landed in the Eyrie’s inner courtyard. When the Vale’s regent queen rushed out there, she found Visenya with her son the boy king on her knee. “Mother can I go flying with the lady?”
Visenya and the Vale Queen exchanged courtesies and the regent bent the knee.
The Dornish princess Mariya Martell was 80 years old, had ruled for 60 years, was fat, blind, and almost bald. Called by Argilac the Arrogant “The Yellow Toad of Dorne.” She would not yield to Rhaenys. “Dorne has no king, tell your brother that.”
“This is Dorne. You are not wanted here. Return at your peril.”
Oldtown was yielded by House Hightower. The High Septon in Oldtown yielded to Aegon. High Septon anointed Aegon with the seven oils in the Starry Sept and crowned him.
Aegon made King’s Landing at the mouth of Blackwater Rush. Made the Iron Throne from the swords collected after each battle/yield.
-end of the reading-
GRRM compares that excerpt to the outline of a whole novel.
“Eventually I will get hit by a bus and you will find someone writing this as a trilogy.”
Two more sidebars about Aegon’s reign. About attempts to subdue Dorne and his reign with his wives.
One called “Sons of the Dragon” about his sons’ ruilings after his death. A tumultuous period.
One about the Dance with the Dragons, the first civil war, with unreliable narrators.
One of the unreliable narrators is a dwarf jester named Mushroom, who was the fool for Viserys I. Poison! Incest! Orgies! Oh my!
Additional details here
Bodies laid in front of her, beside her, behind her, all around her. The air hung heavy, thick with the smell of death and smoke and burnt flesh. She could hear a man retching from it somewhere behind her. He wasn’t the first, nor would he be the last.
Visenya stopped amongst the carnage and took a deep breath. The smell was comforting to her. It smelled of home, and victory, and possibilities. It smelled of her dragon, as familiar and natural to her as her mother’s milk.
She walked on, stepping through the bodies and the blood and the burns, until she came to a man, sobbing and pleading for death. Kneeling, she took the man’s face in her hand; dirt and sweat and blood streaked together as she ran her finger over his cheek.
"What is your name?" She asked, soft as a child.
The man’s words came out in a gurgle of blood and spittle. She did not understand, but it did not matter. She unsheathed the dagger strapped to her thigh and slit his throat. The blood ran red and bright to the ground, singeing as it touched the blackened earth.
Red and black. Fire and blood. Visenya smiled and walked to the next pleading man.
The slap of his boots in the corridor behind her make her smile before he even turns her around.
His hand is rough, and his fingertips glide along the underside of her wrist as he pulls at her. She shreds like silk in his grasp, and the wall is cool where her back comes up against it. ‘A fair evening, Arthur,’ she says quietly.
The corners of his mouth turn hideously downward. ‘You do not find it so,’ she offers.
‘For you, perhaps. Tell me, sister, what does it feel to lead a Stark around like a kicked dog on a chain?’
She tilts her head to the side, and he is so close that the tip of her nose catches on his. ‘Which one?’ she asks.
Arthur shakes his head. ‘Any of them. All of them.’
‘Hm,’ Ashara says. ‘Brothers can be such silly things.’ Her lips are like flowers, curling into a smile as she slips under his arm and lays a hand on the door to her rooms. ‘Do come in, Arthur. I’ll sleep sounding knowing that you guard my honor.’
He is shaking his head no even as he shuts the door behind them. ‘You speak like a lady,’ he says when they are alone.
Her eyebrows raise crookedly. ‘I’d love to see anyone but a lady turn wolves to squealing pups.’ And she laughs, desperately, as Arthur fairly tears her gown to shreds, and leans into his hand at the small of her back.
I AM SOBBING
OH MY GOD GET ME A GURNEY
GODDAMMIT I WISH HE WERE A GAY PORNSTAR
I WOULD NEVER WATCH REGULAR TV AGAIN.
Worst Music Video Ever Made of the Day: You say the music video for Alternate Reality’s “The King That Never Was” is “the worst video ever made” like that’s a bad thing.